Unhinged, Unchaste, Unwanted
by Margaret R. O'Halloran
Summary: A serial killer has been targeting women who look like Olivia; Someone who calls themselves The White Rabbit is stalking her; Huang falls ill and a temporary replacement steps in. But things start to go very wrong. Is Olivia losing her mind?
1. Down the Rabbit Hole

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. That'd be Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

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><p><strong>Sunday, October 30th, 2011<strong>

**3:31 A.M.**

Olivia Benson lay on her couch, wrapped in a light blue throw. She'd gotten home from work a little over an hour ago, and still couldn't get the images of the victims out of her head. Three women her age, all looking so much like herself that Munch had started making up limericks about "Olivia Benson, the walking dead vic". They'd been working on this case for four days, and none of them had slept more than three hours. Olivia had been coughing all day and Elliot's concern, though he didn't voice it, was tangible. Cragen told her to go to bed, wanted her to sleep in the crib where she'd be safe. Safe. Yeah, okay. Each victim had been taken in broad daylight, the first from a shopping mall, the second a carnival, and the third from her kid's school play. Cragen's reasoning was that she'd be surrounded by cops. The perp was a thrill seeker, taking women from public places with as many witnesses as possible. Olivia figured home was the safest place to be. She'd argued that to her captain and he'd reluctantly agreed, but on the condition that Elliot go with her. Olivia argued that that made no sense; they could only afford to send one detective out at a time, and adding Elliot added a witness. Cragen hated to admit it, but she was right. So he had Elliot tail her home. Olivia didn't like it, but neither man would take no for an answer. He was probably still outside in his squad car, the pain in the ass.

She coughed.

"Shit," she managed when she'd stopped convulsing. She curled her knees up to her chest, and fell asleep.

_Someone __knocked __on __the __door. __She __rolled __off __the __couch __and __stood, __wrapping __the __blanket __round __herself __tightly. __The __knocks __became __deafening __pounds, __the __door __rattling __against __its __security __chain._

"_Alright, I'm coming!" she shouted. She looked out the peep-hole into the hall outside the door and saw Elliot standing there panting, his face red._

_She unlocked the deadbolt and slid the chain off; Elliot shoved the door open, ripped his sidearm out of its holster and pushed her to the floor._

_She landed on her ass with a grunt, looking up at him angrily. Two shots rang out, hit a mirror behind her. Its glass shattered, the little crystals raining down on her and cutting her cheek. She threw her hands over her face as Elliot fired again, this time at something just over head._

"_Hey!" she screamed, letting her arms fall and glaring at him. "What the hell?"_

_Elliot lowered the weapon, but didn't answer her. He walked around her, to where he'd fired the shots. Olivia turned to look over at the area, and her breath caught in her throat. Lying on the floor in a puddle of her own blood, a hole in her chest and her eyes blank and unseeing, was their current A.D.A. Sonya Paxton. _

"_What did you do?" she rasped, standing shakily. "What did you do?" she repeated, louder this time. She threw herself at him, punching and kicking, her heart pounding in her ears. He gripped her arms and forced her to face the body on the floor again. It was no longer Sonya; now it was her mother, and the gun was in her own hand. _

"_Do you see know?" Elliot shouted, and the woman on the floor changed again. This time it was herself, only she wasn't clothed, wasn't dead because of a shot in the chest; she was naked, her arms tied behind her back and her breasts heaving, covered in cuts and bruises. _

"_Help me..." her other self sobbed._

Olivia woke violently, gasping for air. She was drenched in sweat, the ends of her hair dripping. She ran a hand over her forehead, checked her watch. She cursed. She had slept a long time; too long. It was a little past eight. She was supposed to be back in the squad-room at seven thirty. She hurried to the bathroom and washed her face, checking her reflection in the mirror and noting the pallid color she wore. She sighed and rested her forearms on the sink edge.

**8:45 A.M.**

Olivia walked into the squad-room coughing, a tissue balled up in her fist and her purse slipping off her shoulder.

"Shit, Liv," Fin called from his desk.

"There once was a woman from Manhattan," Munch sang, standing. "We have no idea how this happened, but she came to work sick, the -"

"Okay, thanks John," Elliot cut in. He turned to his partner. "I signed for a package for you," he said, picking up a white box and handing it to her.

"Thanks." She carried the box to her desk and set it down, let her purse fall into her chair and sneezed.

"Gesundheit," Munch said, walking to her side.

Olivia smiled at him and opened the box. A can of chicken noodle soup, a bowl and spoon, and an envelope lay inside.

"Who's it from?" Fin asked.

"Let the woman open the card," Munch groaned.

Olivia slid her nail under the lip of the envelope and opened it. She pulled out a piece of green stationery with an olive in the upper left corner.

She cleared her throat and began to read aloud.

_For my Olive Tree,_

_A single clue._

_Within this gift _

_From me to you,_

_You'll find the first_

_Of many jests,_

_To help you on _

_Your maddening quest._

_Follow me down_

_The Rabbit Hole._

_If you succeed _

_You'll reach your goal._

_I'll concede defeat,_

_It's you I'll hail._

_But know, my love,_

_That if you fail,_

_You'll suffer immensely_

_Like Martha and Jan,_

_Forever my slave_

_In Wonderland._

_-The White Rabbit_

Munch whistled and took the letter from her.

"This guy is wacked," Fin mused, reading over his partner's shoulder.

"Martha and Jan," Elliot muttered. "Who is he talking about?"

"The first two vics," Munch replied. "It has to be."

"Okay, but why not list the third?" Elliot had opened the case file and was looking for differences between the women.

Olivia remembered something she'd read in a report and began mumbling to herself. She took the folder from Elliot and pulled the report in question from it, scanning it. She started shaking and pointed to the autopsy report for the third woman. Elliot read it and cursed, passing the sheet to Munch.

"The third woman wasn't sexually assaulted," Elliot growled, wrapping an arm around his partner and friend.

Fin picked the letter up again.

"Hey, what's he mean by 'within this gift'? It's a can o' soup."

Munch picked up the can and shook it.

"Sounds like soup to me," he announced.

Olivia pulled away from Elliot and took the can from John, walked to the coffee bar and set the can down next to the microwave. She leaned down and noticed that the can looked like its cover had been removed and then replaced. She gripped its top and pulled; it came away with a small sucking sound.

"I'm telling you, you can't trust anyone any more," Munch shouted in his conspiracy-rant tone, waggling his finger at them. "People are tampering with cans of soup now."

"Elliot, grab the bowl," Olivia said. Elliot picked up the olive green soup bowl and carried it over to her.

She took it and poured the soup into the bowl.

"It's alphabet soup," Fin observed.

"Very good, Fin," Elliot jeered. "You figure that out all by yourself?"

Fin glared at him.

Munch pulled a pen and paper from his pocket.

"Maybe the letters spell a word or something," he mumbled, handing the paper and writing utensil to Olivia.

She wrote the letters on the piece of paper and poked at the soup with the spoon from the box, making sure that all of the letters had surfaced.

When she was finished writing, she circled the letters on the paper and sat down at her desk.

"T, I, W, A, M, T, S, P, N, Z,?" Munch read over her shoulder.

"Hey, I have a question," Fin interjected. "Who knows your sick, Liv?"

Elliot took the slip of paper from Olivia's desk and started mumbling to himself.

"Uh," Olivia thought for a moment, and coughed into her elbow. "You three, I think."

"What are you thinking?" Munch asked his partner.

"Well, we know our perp must've sent this crap," Fin replied, rapping the box with his knuckle. "But she just got sick yesterday, and this box is postmarked after she left work this mornin'."

Elliot folded his arms across his chest, the paper still in his hand.  
>"Wait a minute, so the hump who sent this is following her?" he bellowed.<p>

"Well, it makes sense," Munch pointed out. "His last three vics all look just like her, he's obviously building up to something here, and-"  
>Elliot glared at him, nodding to Olivia who was white as a sheet.<p>

"Thanks, John, we get it," Olivia mumbled. "What do you make of the letters?" she asked Elliot.

He looked at the paper again.

"I've seen it somewhere before, like in the past week."

"Here, let me see," Munch said, taking the paper from Elliot. "It might not even be English," he announced.

Fin rolled his eyes.

"Here we go."

"Munch, it's English," Elliot snapped, taking the paper back.

"Wait," Munch barked, scowling. "Okay, it's English. Give it back."

Elliot sighed and handed the paper back to him.

"I've seen it somewhere, too," Fin told them, reading the letters to himself.

Suddenly his face lit up.

"Liv, you ever been to a place called Mitts 'n' Pawz?"

Munch got a wicked grin on his face.

"What's that?" he asked, a little too excitedly.

Fin sucked his teeth.

"Getcha mind outta the gutter, you lecherous old man. It's a pet store."

Olivia suppressed a grin.

"I was in there earlier this week, looking for a dog," she said, then coughed again.

"Sounds like we gotta go back," Fin replied, still eyeing his partner. Everyone was silent for a bit, watching Munch daydream about whatever his brain had imagined Mitts 'n' Pawz to be and Fin inching farther away from him.

Elliot looked at the two of them and laughed.

"What?" Munch asked, indignantly.

Elliot just laughed harder; Olivia snorted, then joined her partner's chuckles with giggles of her own. Fin and Munch stared at them, confused.

"Fin," Munch whispered conspiratorially.

"Yeah?"

"They've lost it, my friend."


	2. A New Friend

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. That'd be Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

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><p><strong>1:03 P.M.<strong>

Olivia blew her nose quietly and leaned back in her chair. She was exhausted, and still had a mountain of paperwork to go through. She'd had a conversation with George just a few minutes before about her nightmare, and it was less than encouraging. He was concerned. She didn't need that now, not when everyone else was working overtime to make sure that she was safe, putting themselves on the line and tip-toeing around her whenever a break in the case came up that might upset her.

And now, with this White Rabbit thing looming over them, she just wanted it all to be over. Part of her wished the bastard would show up just so she could know who it was, wanted him dead so he couldn't hurt anyone else. That part of her was anxious to go undercover as bait and find the guy so he'd just get it over with. But another part of her (the part that she was ashamed of) wished he would just go back to the pit he crawled out of so she could go home and get some goddamn sleep. Even if it was just for a blessed few hours. She was so tired. And hungry, now that she thought about it.

Olivia's cell phone rang just as she was getting ready to head out for lunch with Elliot to a Mexican place up the street. She groaned inwardly, coughed, and answered it.

"Benson..."

"Ms. Benson, this is Todd over at Mitts 'n' Pawz," a boy replied. He couldn't have been more than sixteen.

"Hi, Todd," Olivia replied.

"Yeah, hi. Listen, we got that puppy in you was asking about."

Olivia wiped her nose with a tissue and smiled.

"Great! When can I pick her up?" she asked, excitedly.

"Well, listen, you gotta come get her now, 'cuz there's some guy here wants her for his kids."

Olivia leaned down and picked up her purse.

"I'm on my way," she replied.

"Whoopee," the kid mocked.

Olivia snapped her phone closed and hurried to the door.

"Hey," she called over her shoulder to John and Fin. "Tell Elliot I have to go pick up my new dog."

Fin looked up nervously.

"You goin' to Mitts 'n' Pawz?" he asked warily.

"Yeah," she replied, pausing. "Why?"

Fin stood.

"I'm comin' with you. You shouldn't be goin' out there by yourself."

Olivia rolled her eyes and coughed again.

"I'll be fine, Fin. What's the guy going to do, pretend to be a dog and hop in my backseat?" She turned and walk out of the squad-room, bumping into Paxton in the door way. The older woman glared at her. Olivia saw the image of the dead A.D.A. on her floor, a bullet wound in her chest and Elliot standing over her with the gun that killed her. She felt like she was going to be sick. She mumbled an apology and hurried away, leaving a bewildered Sonya in her wake.

Two hours later, she wandered back in carrying a small yellow Labrador puppy wearing a purple harness. She had her head bent down to it and was cooing while it licked her face lovingly. She laughed when it licked her nostril.

"Okay, Sasha," she called to the puppy, putting the dog on her desk and sitting down in her chair. "It's time for me to do some paperwork, so let's get you settled in!" Olivia pulled a matching leash out her purse and laced the metal clip-on part around the leg of her desk, then through the loop of the handle. She clipped it to the ring on the dog's harness and handed her new companion a treat.

"What is that?" Cragen asked, coming up behind her with his hands thrust in his pockets.

Olivia turned and brushed her hair behind her eyes.

"Ah, Captain, that is a puppy. You know, an infant canine?" she joked with a grin.

Cragen cleared his throat and crossed his arms.

"Yeah, I can see that, Olivia. What the hell is it doing in my squad-room?"

The puppy wandered over and snuffled at his shoes. Olivia beamed like a proud mama.

"She's my new dog, Cap. Her name is Sasha."

"Well, she's adorable, Olivia, but she can't stay here." Even while her captain was talking, she could see he was softening. He knelt down to the puppy and patted her head.  
>"Are you sure?" Olivia taunted. "You look like your enjoying her company."<p>

Cragen didn't answer right away. He couldn't. Sasha was licking his face with such ferocity the gruff man couldn't open his mouth to respond. Olivia had to stop herself from laughing. The phone on her desk began to ring.

She composed herself and answered it.

"Benson," she chirped, turning her back to the two playmates behind her.

"I've been watching you," a voice whispered into the phone.

The smile fell off of Olivia's face. She began to shake.

"Who is this?"

"I love your new dog. She's very cute. Sasha, is it?"

Olivia tapped her captain on the shoulder.

"No, Olive Tree, let the man play with the dog. He hardly ever has any fun."

Olivia froze. She snapped her head up, looked round.

By this time, Cragen could tell something was up. He stood and looked at her concernedly, then turned on his heel and stalked to his office to call TARU for a trap and trace.

"Oh, what a shame," the voice cooed sympathetically. "By the time he gets back, there won't be anything to trace."

"Wait, just talk to me a bit longer," Olivia crooned seductively, trying her best not to gag into the phone and give herself away. "You're intriguing me."

"Don't try to play with me, Olivia," the voice hissed angrily. "It may be the last thing you do." The phone call ended quickly, leaving Olivia shaking not with fear, but with rage. She slammed the receiver down loudly, startling Sasha. The poor thing backed away from her slightly.

Olivia crouched down slowly and reassured her pet.

"Hey, honey, everything is okay." She stroked Sasha until they both felt calmer. "If he doesn't show himself soon, though, I'm going to hunt him out and skin him. He'd make a nice addition to the Cap'n's office, huh?"

The dog yapped excitedly in agreement.


	3. Over The Line

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. That'd be Dick Wolf and NBC. I'm just borrowing the characters, and I promise to return them by midnight, fed, clean, and unharmed. Mostly.**

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><p>"Okay, let's go over it again," Huang urged in his reassuring tone.<p>

Olivia groaned and ran her hands over her face. Sasha nuzzled her ankle.

"We've been over it three times already, George." The brunette leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees before dropping her hands. Her eyes were red and bloodshot. "What else is there?"

Dr. Huang smiled grimly.

"I know, but we may have missed something."

Olivia sighed.

"Fine," she intoned, resting her forehead in her hands. They'd taken over Cragen's office temporarily, but that "temporarily" was turning out to be at least three hours. She didn't want to be having this conversation, she wanted to go catch the rat bastard; but she knew that this was considered helpful.

George nodded.

"What did the voice say to you?"

Olivia felt a shiver run down her spine. No matter how many times she recounted the words, they never ceased to creep her out.

"He said he's been watching me, called me Olive Tree." She wrapped an arm around Sasha's middle and pulled the dog into her lap, her voice riddled with maternal anger. "And he said that he liked my new dog."  
>Huang paused her, holding a hand out.<p>

"I think we should refrain from identifying the caller as male." He flipped through his legal pad and read through his notes. "You say they never spoke above a whisper?"

Olivia nodded.

"Not even when he got mad at me."

Huang gave her a reproachful look.

Olivia rolled her eyes.

"Right, sorry, when 'they' got mad at me."

"How do you know they were mad?"

Olivia looked at him disbelievingly.

"I told you already, George, his tone changed-"

Huang raised an eyebrow at her.

"_The_ tone! Okay?" Olivia raised her voice, her hands shaking. "The tone changed! The tone changed and the asshole called me Olivia. Until then they were calling me Olive Tree, even 'my' Olive Tree. They were being creepily loving. It doesn't sound like someone who would randomly change to using my given name without a reason, like say, oh I don't know," she paused and put on an expression of mock befuddlement, then changed it to one of mock realization. "Maybe being mad as hell!"

"Okay," Huang soothed. "Okay, Olivia. Let's take a break." The psychiatrist stood, then fell back into his seat. Olivia frowned and put the dog on the floor, standing and walking over to him.

"George? Are you okay?"

Huang shook his head slightly and blinked a few times to clear his mind.

"Yeah, fine...just felt a little light headed."

"Do you want me to get you some water?" Olivia asked, her brow furrowed in concern.

"No, no, it's alright. I'm fine, really."

Olivia knelt beside the small man and laid a hand on his arm.

"Okay. Well, I'll wait with you until you feel better."

Huang nodded.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you," Olivia murmured.

Huang smiled sardonically.

"It's alright. I get it."

He paled suddenly, a retch escaping him. Olivia stood quickly and hurried for the trash pail behind her. She placed it in front of him seconds before Huang vomited into it. She didn't have time to get away; a fleck of it landed on her blouse. She flinched, felt her stomach lurch, but she stayed with him. When he stilled, he glanced up at her apologetically.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered.

Olivia tried to give him a reassuring smile.

"Hey, no worries. I never liked this blouse anyway."

Huang grimaced and gripped his stomach.

"You're a horrible liar. It's one of your favorites," he replied, then vomited into the pail again.

Olivia stepped behind him and began rubbing his upper back to try and comfort him.

When he'd finished, he sat up again.

"I imagine you'd rather be in the men's room than bent over a trash bucket," Olivia mused. Huang nodded slowly.

"Okay. I'll go get Elliot and he'll help you get over there."  
>Huang smiled weakly.<br>"Thank you," he murmured.

Olivia nodded. She grabbed Sasha's leash and left, walking over to Elliot's desk. Her partner was sitting in his chair on the phone, but when he saw her coming he said his goodbye's and hung up.

"Whoa," he said, wrinkling his nose. "What did you eat, wasabi?"

Olivia smiled grimly.  
>"It's not mine. It's Huang's." She replaced the leash around the leg of her desk and stood again. "He needs you to help 'im to the men's room. As you can see I've done my part in this."<p>

Elliot nodded.  
>"You taking that to the dry cleaners?"<p>

Olivia looked appalled.

"Are you kidding me? I'm gonna burn it."

Elliot looked hurt.

"I gave you that, two years ago for your birthday," he whined.

Olivia tugged the satin away from her stomach.

"Yeah, and now it's got reprocessed sushi a la FBI Psychiatrist on it."

Elliot tapped his pen on his desk.

"Alright, fine," he muttered. "But I'm buying you a new one!"

Olivia chuckled.  
>"Great, I'll prepare myself." She jerked her thumb in the direction of the locker room. "I'm going to change." She turned and walked away. "And you, go take Huang to the head," she called over her shoulder.<p>

Elliot saluted her and stood. Sasha looked up at him with her big blue eyes and whined. Elliot looked down at her.

"You should know," he muttered, crouching down and scratching her behind the ear, "that I have a weakness for blondes."

"Elliot!" Olivia barked, standing in the doorway of the locker room and glaring at him.

"Right," he called back, standing and walking to Cragen's office.

Olivia shook her head and ducked back into the locker room before shutting the door and unbuttoning her blouse. She shrugged out of it and balled it up, pulled a white t-shirt from her locker and threw the ruined top into it. She pulled the clean shirt over her head and tucked it into her jeans before closing the locker and stepping back out into the bullpen.

She looked over at her desk and felt her breath catch in her throat. Sasha wasn't by her desk. She swallowed, her heart racing. She quickened her pace, and after a moment she was running. She reached the desk in no time, checked underneath it, pulled the chair out of the way and checked underneath that. She checked under Elliot's desk, under Munch's and Fin's, then checked the sitting area upstairs, the bathrooms, the hallway, the elevator and lobby. She was panicking when she made it back to the bullpen, and felt a wave of relief wash over her. A tall, muscular, very hot red-headed woman was standing beside Munch holding the puppy in her arms. She was laughing at something Munch had said.

Olivia hurried over to them.

"Thank you, so much!" she gushed, reaching for the lab.

"Oh," the woman replied in a southern twang, clutching the dog to her chest. "Is she yours?"

Olivia smiled.

"Yes, she is."

The woman turned to Munch, who nodded at her. She turned back to Olivia and handed Sasha over.

"I didn't mean to be rude," she began, brushing dog hair off her suit jacket, then leaning down and tapping the puppy's nose with her left index finger and continuing in a high pitched babies voice. "I just wanted to make sure no one was hurtin' this absolutely adorable little piece o' heaven!"  
>Sasha yipped happily and licked the woman's hand.<p>

She straightened and extended the other hand to Olivia.

"I'm Karolyn Hurst."

Olivia shifted the dog's weight to her left arm and shook the woman's hand.

"Olivia Benson," she replied. "If you don't mind my asking, where are you from?"

Karolyn smiled.

"Texas. Born and raised," Karolyn responded proudly.

"Ah." Olivia smiled and nodded. She couldn't help but think she recognized the Texan from somewhere. "So," she began, lifting her dog to her chin and kissing the back of her neck. "Where did you find Sasha?"

"Wanderin' around in the lobby." Karolyn reached over and patted the dog on the head. "She looked lost, and I was headed up here anyhow, so I just brought her on up."

Olivia felt her apprehension rise. She cleared her throat and took a step back, the dog now out of Karolyn's reach.

"How did you know to come up here?"

Karolyn pursed her lips and raised both eyebrows.

"Hmm? Oh, I just guessed." She stepped forward, her hand extended.

Olivia backed away again.

"I know you from somewhere," she began.

"No, you don't," Karolyn interrupted, frowning and stepping forward again.

Olivia turned the dog away, and gave the woman a very long look. Munch gave the women an apprehensive look and stepped over to stand behind his friend and colleague.

"Mitts 'n' Paws," Olivia gasped, realization dawning across her features. "You were in the store. And then downstairs on my way back in." She set her jaw and narrowed her eyes. "Are you following me?"

Munch stepped between the two of them.

"Okay," he began, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Liv, that's enough."

She shrugged him off and handed the dog to him before weaving around the tall man.

"No," Karolyn replied hotly. "I am not following you!"

"Yeah?" Olivia snapped, standing toe to toe with the red-head. "What the hell were you coming up here for?"

Karolyn backed up.

"For your information, I'm here to talk with your captain."

"So what, you just thought you'd bring a lost puppy up to the Special Victims Unit squad-room? To sex crimes? What, did you think someone up here would just take her home?"

Karolyn crossed her arms and licked her lips, looked down at her feet.

"I am here to talk to your captain about a job, Detective. I'm going to be working with you as a psychiatric consultant and profiler. And my first observation is that you are a paranoid, violent, unstable woman."

Olivia looked like she'd been slapped. A small breath of air escaped her, her jaw agape. She turned to Munch and took the dog from him, stormed to her desk and took her purse out of the bottom drawer, removed her cell phone from the pencil drawer.

"You can go to hell," Olivia growled.

"Liv, wait," Munch called after her.

Olivia turned her back on them both and hurried out of the squad-room with as much feigned dignity as she could muster, her throat constricted and tears burning her eyes.

"Liv!" Munch called again.

Olivia sobbed silently.

"Unstable and violent?" she murmured to Sasha, her voice thick with anger. "She hasn't seen either from me yet."


End file.
